Saturday, April 21, 2018

Being Loved and Being Love

September 1, 2008 by  
Filed under Patricia's Journey

Moving to Hawaii has given me the uncomparable experience of being loved and supported for who I am.  I don’t have a history here.  No one has seen my resume.  I haven’t “done” anything to identify myself other than “I am beloved friend of Sky.” Sky says I was loved before I came here.  They were praying for me and loving me before I arrived.  In this new home, I am being loved not for what I have done, am doing or will do but solely for who I am.  I am contributing just by being.  Wow.  What an indescribable, healing gift.

As I look at our Hawaii community, I am joyful for the connection to the God Source that is evident.  To me, it looks like there are no individual resources…our resources are a pool that is shared by all.  True support always comes from God.  It may look like we are dealing with each other, but we are really receiving from God and sharing.  It is flowing from the Life Source through us to each other.  And it is endless.

A wise friend told me that Oneness with God is not the highest calling.  It is the calling…all the time.

Powerfully imprinted in my energy in this lifetime is the belief that I have to do it all on my own. I have to take care of myself.  The duality of “I have to take care of myself” and “I want to be taken care of” is one of my Soul level life challenges.

Early on in my childhood, it was my belief as I looked around me that there wasn’t an adult who I could be certain was going to take care of me.  Even as a young child, I became a survivor, independent, strong willed and scared.  I have created this over and over again as an adult with the males in my life.  I would choose partners who I believed would “take care” of me, and of course, they could not care for me in the way I wanted and needed.  When you attract from your wound, it is never sustainable.  For example, a wound that you are unlovable simply attracts partners that will somehow remind you of the belief you have that you are unlovable.  Or a wound that you won’t be cared for attracts a partner to reinforce that fear.  And with each relationship where I proved my belief to be true, I unconsciously became more resentful.  The only way out is through healing the wound.

Instead of being grateful that I have learned that I can and am able to care for myself, I have carried resentment that I had to do it myself.   My Soul level lesson is in accepting that I am able to care for myself and be cared for and release the resentment.  When I know I can care for and love myself, then a man will show up with that same desire—to care for and love me.  My Soul has wanted to transform this belief all my life and continued to give me opportunities to do so.  Have you noticed that life will cycle around opportunities for learning whatever we need to learn as often as we need it? Okay, I got it!

After moving to Hawaii, I find myself feeling unmotivated to do certain things, to engage in certain projects.  When I listened to Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth, he mentioned that when you move out of the ego and are transitioning to essence, there may be a lack of motivation.  You realize that nothing really matters.  And yet we have this physical life to live and things seem to matter.  By staying present, the ego cannot align.  It can only align with the past and the future.  And the past and the future make it seem like things really matter.   Then we lose the present moment and in the present moment there is only Love.  We lose the Love.

Perhaps it is the space of  being nonjudgmental, the sacred space of love which allows people to heal. When we are loving another, the love changes how a person might move through an experience.  Not our advice or finger pointing or judgment.  Just the love.  We all have our own answers, our own connection to God.  Love supports another to tap into their own flow, to what their Soul is calling them toward.

This week I “saw” what it is that Sky provides for those of us in his space.  We talk about how people create a sacred space.  We say the words and may feel when a space is sacred, but what is it exactly?  What I visualized was that we step into this space or this room and life causes us to bump into the walls.  We have an experience and we bump into a wall of belief, old thought or pattern.  The bump bounces us back and we unsteadily fall into the arms of someone who is there to catch us and love us.  Sky, or a friend, is there with his open arms to tell us we are loved, we are wonderful, we are perfect just as we are.  It heals us.  Then we have another experience and we bump into the wall again and we are bounced back into his arms again and he reminds us he sees who we really are and loves us and we heal.  Then we bump into another wall and bounce back into Sky who he tells us that we cannot ask for too much.  ”Tell me what you need, I am here to support you.  You are not a burden. You are loved beyond compare.” And we heal some more.  And on and on it goes.  It is the Love that heals.

And soon we find that we are the ones with our arms open wide to catch another who has bumped into the wall.

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