Saturday, March 17, 2018


November 18, 2009 by  
Filed under Patricia's Journey

My mother departed for home in Iowa yesterday.  She wanted to go and she wanted to stay.  I wanted her to go and I wanted her to stay!  Three people in 500 square feet.  We did extremely well, however, Alexander was ready to move from the sofa and I was ready for nurturing solitude.

While Mom was visiting, we stopped at more than one gift shop.  At one in particular she fell in love with a ring.  It had two copper plumeria and silver ocean waves in between.  It was beautiful and told a story of past, present, future.  After buying souvenirs for everyone else, she bought this for herself.   At another gift shop, I fell in love with a hand carved wooden bowl with sea turtles on each side for the handles.  She made a surprise stop at the gift shop a few days after I saw the bowl with the intent of purchasing it for me.  While I loved it, something wasn’t right about it as a parting gift from her.  I told her I’d sleep on it and if it was my bowl, it would still be there tomorrow.  In praying about the bowl, I heard how lovely and meaningful it would be to go back to the gift shop where Mom purchased her ring and get an identical one for me.  Oh, that felt so delicious.  When I suggested the idea to her, she lit up.   We stopped on the way to the airport and purchased my ring.  My intention was to take a photo of our hands together with our matching rings like a newly wed couple, but I forgot.  In many ways, it did mark a new beginning.

When my mother decided to come, you may recall in an earlier blog that I chose to pretend I did not know her, and I was going to get to know her for the first time from that premise.  It didn’t really take hold for me until I took the label of “mother” off and looked at her as a woman on her own journey and as a friend.  It will take more visits; she’s very quiet. However, my love, gratitude and appreciation for what this woman has given me is heartfelt.  Our relationship is forever changed.

Along with her physical departure, she left behind worries of my health.  The drama of small town living, (population 1,109) had her convinced I was months away from everyone dressing in black and telling stories about “Patty Kay”.  She had to see for herself that all is well.  For me came the knowing I had departed with judgment or stories around this woman who courageously signed up to be my mother. She is a caring, kind and loving woman who is endeared to all who know her in the small town where I grew up.

She did mention that she was in labor with me for three days.  She wasn’t smiling when she told me.  It was years before drugs and epidurals.  Even then, I was stubborn…and she was patient.

Alexander and Grandma

Alexander and Grandma

Me and Mom

Me and Mom




One Response to “Departures”
  1. Debbie in AZ says:

    Gorgeous Girlfriend…. After reading this entry, I came across two quotes and wanted to share them. I found them to be suited to how I imagined this time with your Mom seemed to enlighten each of you about the other.

    “What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

    “The only fear I have is fearing to get out of the will of God. Outside the will of God, there’s nothing I want, in the will of God there’s nothing I fear.” A.W. Tozer

    Through your words I see that you witnessed a glimpse of what lies inside each of you and your “coming together” was certainly right in the middle of God’s will for both of you promoting the fading of any fear that might have been lingering in your hearts.

    Wonderful how life happens so perfectly and completely when we follow God’s loving lead.

    Happy Thanksgiving….grateful for our enduring friendship.

    Much Love…..Debbie

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