Sunday, April 22, 2018

One of those days

December 4, 2009 by  
Filed under Patricia's Journey

It’s one of those days!  Not one of those days.  One of the other days.  At the other end of the stick.  One of those days where you open your eyes upon awakening and at once know that all is well.  It is a very good day.  Sleep has restored balance to my life. Sleep has restored emotional balance, physical balance and mental clarity.  On Monday,  I talked with my Dr. Sandy and we adjusted the dosages for the new naturopathic remedies I started taking two weeks ago.  Some dosages were too much, one not enough.  In addition, I began taking a liquid essential Amino Acid blend.  There are eight essential aminos and twelve non-essential ones used inside your body.  They are the building blocks of protein and used by the body to build, repair, and strengthen.  They are one of the most important supplements to start with when looking at a weekly regimen.  Sandy said I would notice a difference in my energy with the amino acids and today my body is doing a happy dance.

As I awoke this morning, my first thought was of God, and I smiled.  I fell in love with God in June of this year.  Yes, I actually fell into Love with God.  Not the mental construct of loving God because He created You and how could you not love your ultimate Creator (especially when life is good :) .  I can only liken it to the kind of falling in love you feel in the human form yet more expansive and deeper than you have ever known.  Unconditional.  God rarely leaves my consciousness.  When It does, I know it immediately in what I say and what I do.  My words and actions don’t come from love. Often I have thought that we can’t have any relationship with each other deeper than the one we have with God.  Our human wish for love from others is really our Soul’s desire for the Love of God.  It is God’s Love we see in each other.  It flows from God through us and out to others.

If we don’t trust God, are we really able to trust people?  If we don’t have an intimate relationship with God, are we able to with a friend or mate?  My relationship with the people in my life seems to be a direct reflection of my evolving relationship with God.  To the extent I expand and open my heart to God’s love, I notice I am able to do it with the people in my life.  If I am able to trust God implicitly,  how better will I be able to trust my physical friends who show up as the face of God. Or perhaps it is in my willingness to trust my physical friends that I learn to deepen my faith and trust in God.  Which comes first? Is it synchronous?  Through many teachers I’ve learned the ‘how” doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t interest me as much anymore.  What does interest me is life becomes harmonious through my willingness to nurture and deepen my relationship with God.  That’s what matters.

“It is very possible to see the eyes of the master looking at us through the eyes of a loved one, perhaps even twinkling a bit, revealing the kind of love that longs to see us let go of our pain.” – The Shared Heart, p. 35  Barry & Joyce Vissel

Reveling in feeling good couldn’t come at a better time as the Christmas season is upon us. It is December 4 and I have already watched 8 Christmas movies.  Holiday music is on the stereo.  Alexander doesn’t seem to mind me pushing the play button for the third time this morning to listen to Andrea Bocelli’s (sigh) new Christmas album.  The comical fake Christmas palm tree stands proudly against one wall. It has little white lights on it. Thank goodness for little white lights.  It offsets Santa in bermuda shorts. I love little white lights.  Just like white tennis shoes in the Midwest, little white lights go with everything.

Melissa "staging" the Christmas palm tree

Melissa "staging" the Christmas palm tree

My new Christmas bonnet

My new Christmas bonnet

Alexander leaves for the mainland on December 16 to spend the holiday with his Dad and family members.  It will be my first Christmas without him and my first Christmas in Hawaii.  The energy required to travel could set back the progress I am making and it’s -5 degrees in Nebraska on the west end and 25 degrees on the east end. Enough said?

For the 12 Days of Christmas this year, Alexander and I decided to give each other handwritten notes that say “What I love most about you…”. We fill in the rest.  Last night when I handed him my note to read, he tried to hide the grin on his face and couldn’t.  Even before he read my affection, he was feeling love’s appreciation of him.  It was priceless.  One of those Mastercard moments.  It is not a coincidence in the short three days we have been doing this, he has become softer, saying I love you on his own and being willing to sit with me through three Christmas movies in as many days.  I look forward to writing my note as much as receiving his, and I am learning more about him through what he notices and loves about me.  He especially loves my quirky stick drawings on the message. If I took an art class on drawing the human form, I might come out of it better able to draw a stick figure, but it would still be a stick figure.  Not my genius!

On Wednesday when my friend Melissa was here, we were sitting on the lanai and noticed what we thought was a bumble bee buzzing around the blossoms of the potted flowers.  Occasionally, it would take a swooping fly-by close to Melissa and me. Then I noticed this bumblebee had a beak!  It was a teeny hummingbird not more than an inch long!  Grabbing my camera, it took several snapshots to capture a photo.  This was not easy because of the digital camera delay between clicking the button and the camera actually taking the photo.  In that delay, the hummingbird would move.  Yet, one photo was adequate to capture the miracle. Look closely at the top of the plant and to the right.  You will notice a tiny brownish colored object in mid-air. Hummingbirds are the world’s tiniest bird.  They visit an average of 1,000 flowers per day for nectar and remember every flower they have been to and how long it will take to refill the nectar.  Wonder when they’ll return?

My hummingbird messenger

My hummingbird messenger

My laptop was on the lanai table, so I googled the meaning of a hummingbird when it shows up in your life.  On it says this:

In Native American culture, a hummingbird symbolizes timless joy and the Nectar of Life. It’s a symbol for accomplishing that which seems impossible and will teach you how to find the miracle of joyful living from your own life circumstances.

We won’t go into what my favorite brother Tracy would say about the meaning of a hummingbird showing up in your life.  You’ll have to trust me that it wouldn’t be as sweet as the meaning above.  Maybe I’ll call him up and ask him just for the fun of it.  He is always good for a laugh, always.   When he saw me in shorts one summer years ago, he told me that he had seen better looking legs on an end table.  He loves me, he really does.

Until then, I am content knowing I am accomplishing that which seems impossible and finding the miracle of joyful living in my life circumstance.  And that my legs are better looking than an end table’s.


One Response to “One of those days”
  1. Lisa says:

    Rock on woman! Beautifully stated, as usual and I get it, at an even deeper level today than I would have yesterday. So are you going to ask your brother??? Would love to hear the response. Keep up the humor too, you have a great sense of it. XXXOOO

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