Saturday, March 17, 2018

Tis better to receive?

October 23, 2009 by  
Filed under Patricia's Journey

My growing edge at this phase in this spiritual journey called cancer is about receiving.  I thought I was a good receiver until I was in the position of needing and wanting support, asking for it, and receiving it. My monkey mind was having a field day:

What if I ask too much?  What if I discover someone doesn’t want to give to me?  How will I respond? What if I discover fair weather friends?  What if I appear selfish?  What if people give and have resentment about it?  I don’t want to trigger other people’s stuff about giving and be on the receiving end of that!  How much is too much?  Do I just keep receiving until my inner knowing signals that it’s time to turn off this particular flow?  Didn’t I read it’s better to give than receive?  What if I discover nobody really loves me (good grief)! Blah, blah, blah….

I have a fear of bumping into people’s conditions and limits and taking it personally.  So, what is my work around that?  I’ve been praying about being unconditional in allowing and honoring other people’s journeys, which means I am praying for unconditional honoring of my own journey.  When I find judgment in me about someone’s actions, it is always a judgment I am holding about myself. What am I to learn about mySelf in this situation?  My commitment and promise to God is to be a demonstration of unconditional love, compassion and kindness in the world.  The Universe provides plenty of learnings and reflection to me around that promise!

A couple of years back I was reading about an exercise where you write down anything that you are judging about another person.  A list might look like this:  they aren’t trustworthy; they aren’t dependable;, they are domineering; they don’t listen; they’re arrogant.  Whatever comes up for you around that person.  And then go back after each sentence and write the words “just like me”.  For example, they aren’t trustworthy just like me. Now you can turn it into an inside job and transform the judgment through healing and forgiveness.

Most people prefer to give.  It’s tougher to receive and life-giving when you learn.  It’s about receiving through mankind from God, rather than just focusing on receiving from God.  You aren’t really a true giver until you can receive.  When you are receiving with grace, you are giving a gift to the other person…the gift of allowing them a place to be a loving act of kindness.  For me, to begin to open up and allow others to give to me was a sign of self-love. Receiving changes your future.  You are allowing God in.  If you are unable to receive, your future doesn’t change.  People with cancer get stuck between two realities- making everyone more important or making yourself more important.  Either or.

Marianne Williamson says “we aren’t unhappy because of what we’re not getting, we’re unhappy because of what we’re not giving.”

Almost nightly, someone delivers dinner to our door.  I call it room service and it is heavenly.  When I found myself feeling better than expected from the chemo treatment, my monkey mind was trying to engage me in a conversation that sounded like this: “You can’t let people bring you dinner.  You don’t feel bad enough for people to deliver meals.”  Thank goodness for friends who gave me some great coaching.  My energy is needed to create healthy cells not mash potatoes.  Receiving this wholesome, nourishing food is a blessing beyond what I imagined it would be.  As a single parent, taking the responsibility of preparing a meal for us and all that goes into that, required a lot of energy and planning.  And now I know what it is like to be on the receiving end in this situation.  These friends are teaching me how to give by their unselfish acts and teaching me how to receive gracefully.

Trish and her son Dave delivering a delicious dinner

Trish and her son Dave delivering a delicious dinner

“On this day of your life,  I believe God wants you to know…

.…that to find beauty in everyone you must see beauty in everyone, then announce that you see it, for in announcing it, you place it there intheir reality.

Do not miss a single chance — not one single opportunity — to tell someone how wonderful they are, how special they are, how important to you they are, how incredible as a person they are, how beautiful they are inside and out. Do not miss a single opening in which to insert such a comment, genuinely felt and genuinely meant.

Make it your life’s mission today to bring to the attention of another just how extraordinary they are. Say it. Sayit. SAY it. Their heart is waiting to know that their own best thought about themselves can be believed.

Love, Your Friend….Neil Donald Walsh”

and your friend, Patricia.

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