Saturday, March 17, 2018

Twas the night before treatment…

April 28, 2010 by  
Filed under Patricia's Journey

Yesterday and today are considered good days, in comparison to the weekend after last Thursday’s treatment.  The flu-like symptoms stayed with me through the weekend and began to subside on Monday.  My energy level isn’t up to taking walks yet, however, I was able to do some stretching and drive to the clinic yesterday for my lab work in preparation for Thursday’s treatment.  And I stubbornly eked out 25 push-ups…five at a time.

I was reflecting on last week and the tests that were performed and how they all came back “normal”.  It was a paradox of gratitude that the test results were normal and yet wondering what was causing the pain.  Then I had one of those “aha” moments realizing it was the first time in 2.5 years I have had tests come back normal.  There was the MRI in late 2007 that showed yes, I did have a brain and no, there wasn’t any cancer in it. However, since that time there has always been something amiss with a test result. With this latest experience, I now have a feeling to tap into as I visualize and intend what it will feel like to have a “clean” CT scan.

There are many people opposed to my having chemotherapy.  Many people.  I used to be one of them!   None of these people have cancer or have been faced with the decision whether to have chemotherapy.   When you are faced with the decision you work through fear of having it and fear of not having it.  I have made peace with it.  For me, I am alive because of it.  It has given me time to focus on healing my mind, which allows more Divine Light to be brought in, which ultimately is what heals.  As I pray about the debilitating side effects I have endured with this latest round of treatments, it is clear these side effects are typical for chemo patients.  I have skated through with minimal side effects.  Up until these last four treatments, I would have told you I could not tell the difference between the day before or the day after treatment (except the steroid induced all nighters.)  When I ask how this is serving me and how it will serve others,  Spirit asks me how many people could relate to my atypical response to chemo?  Not many.  If I were able to restore my well-being with naturopathics only, how many people could relate to that?  Not many.  I would be missing a huge demographic of people who couldn’t or wouldn’t consider that route for emotional, physical and/or financial reasons.   My greatest gift will be to reach people and teach them how to combine eastern medicine with western medicine, how to get through chemo gentler and more effectively and be loving to their body.  Above that, how to bring more Light into your mind and body.  As I said recently, cancer doesn’t kill, lack of Light does.

Tomorrow is treatment #5 in this second round of nine, should nine be required.  Laurie will be here bright and early at 7:30 am for our drive to Kaiser.  She is looking forward to a day “off” and I am looking forward to basking in her Light.  She just stopped by with dinner: fresh home-made pita pockets, seasoned chicken, greek yogurt, tomatoes, lettuce, red onion.   You just made a mmmmmmm sound, didn’t you?  If there is such a thing as a cancer perk, this must be it.


2 Responses to “Twas the night before treatment…”
  1. Lisa says:

    Once again you tip the scales of amazing introspection and spiritual connectedness. Your journey, words and Being impact me at many different levels. I give thanks and feel such gratitude every day for your presence in my life. You reflect unconditional love from God as it continually flows through you and out into the world, touching me and others in profound ways. I continue to visualize Divine Healing and Light surrounding each cell of your body restoring your Being to Wholeness.
    I love you,

  2. Christine says:

    I love that you talk about letting in more light. In chiropractic the adjustment treats subluxation. Sub-Lux means under-light in root language…hmnnn some may be thinking.

    Your journey is personal to you, and the fearlessness comes in when you make decisions based on your best interests and path, irregardless of the opinion of others. So much to learn from just that!

    Loving you where ever you are, and where ever I am.

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