Sunday, April 22, 2018

What a difference a day makes

April 22, 2010 by  
Filed under Patricia's Journey

It’s 9:30 pm at my house, and for us, it’s late.   My friends, here is a short update from yesterday’s blog.

Laurie picked me up 7:30 am.  When I arrived at Kaiser, I still had a low grade fever.  The side pain was minimal and much improved. Because of the fever, they needed more blood work and a chest X-ray before proceeding with chemo.  The results came back about 10:15 am and everything was normal, so we began chemo about 10:45 am.  There was a good reason it was originally scheduled for 8:30 am, the earliest appointment I had ever been given–and one I tried to change twice because I didn’t want to get up early. We needed an extra two hours this morning. Completed treatment at 1:30 pm and picked up a prescription for an antibiotic.

Lazyboy line-up for chemotherapy

A representative from the American Cancer Society stopped by my Lazyboy.  She had gifts to bear.  Among the lovely prizes I would receive for being a cancer recipient was a plastic file with dividers for all the paperwork I am given.  It was already filled with paperwork–paraphernalia and many booklets on Understanding Radiation, Understanding Chemotherapy, After Cancer Care, Understanding Hopelessness  (I made up that last one).   “Have you ever heard of the ‘Look Good…Feel Better’ program?” she asked.  ”No, I have not. Does it come with a guarantee?”   This Foundation provides free cosmetics kits and lessons in make-over techniques to cancer patients.  That could be fun, even though I think a cancer diagnosis is the ultimate make-over.  They also help women learn new ways to disguise hair loss with wigs.  It was all I could do not to chuckle.  Disguise hair loss?!  The best you can do is distract from the hair loss, but you aren’t going to disguise it.  People know.  And then you wonder if they know. And then the creme de la creme.  A $50 gas card.  That I can use!  It will be fun to give away.  It is easy for me to tell when a person I meet, even a medical professional, has not had someone close to them seriously ill, or they haven’t been seriously ill. They are uncomfortable being around you, even though they try not to show it.  It’s there…hiding deep at times, but I can feel it. And I understand their fear– I am the physical representation of a possibility of what could happen to them.  It makes them feel vulnerable.  I was once in their shoes.  I send them Love and Light always and ask God to keep them in His care.  And you keep sending those contributions so she can pass out more $50 gas cards.  There are people who desperately need them.

When Laurie arrived this morning, her daughter Erin drove her to my home so we could use my car.  She picked up our bedding to launder it.  Is that service of the highest?!  We arrived back at my home and there was Erin making my bed.  Such a beautiful young woman and the beauty is to her core.  I took the antibiotic, which made me sleepy and I crashed from 3-5 pm.  Laurie returned with dinner at that time (you want to nominate her for some award, don’t you?)

The sharp pain is now gone and there aren’t any sore, tender spots.  I treated it homeopathically, with flax seed, persica & rhubarb, essential oils, salt baths, lots of fluids.  People offered suggestions such as the standard prune juice, however it doesn’t work for me and metamucil does the opposite… discovered that the hard way years ago.  Above all of this was the greatest healer…calls and emails from my incredible friends.  The balm of friendship.  I love you BIG!

There is immense dissimilarity in how I feel tonight and how I felt at this time last night.  Tonight I feel, well, kind of normal again (I can hear you chuckling, Debbie, as in when was I ever normal).   I’m thinking about taking a walk tomorrow, something I was unable to do all week. Then rest.  Perhaps I’ll make Rocky Mountain Oat Chip cookies.  Then rest.  Meditate and read.  Then rest.  My friend Lisa is stopping over.  Then rest. Yeah, that kind of normal.  A new kind of normal.  That will be my day.  Previously, that would have been done by 10:00 am…just to get it done and off some list.  Now, it’s a way of being that is allowed through the grace of God. Ultimately, it is by the grace of God that I am surviving and transforming through this experience  This is my time to learn to be. And this is what it looks like for me.  And I have never felt happier.  If I can feel peaceful and happy in the midst of observing what is changing around me, such as being in the eye of the storm yet not of the storm, then everything is possible.  Especially miracles.

“The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one’s life.”

~ Dalai Lama


2 Responses to “What a difference a day makes”
  1. Debbie Aldridge says:

    Gorgeous Girlfriend….I had no idea that you had had such a “tough” week when we were talking on Wed.(my guess that is the way God wanted it) With or without the knowledge of your current status one thing I know is true yesterday, today and tomorrow….”I know the plans that I have for you,declares the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. Know the truth that is spoken from Him who gives life and then say “Everything is going to be just fine!!!!”

    Loving your strength….Debbie

  2. Jeri says:

    The ultimate make over….lol YOU my friend, are too funny!!!

    Happy you’re feeling better. All my love to you….}

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